So You've Been Asked to be a Bridesmaid..... Now What?

You have come to the right place!  Being asked to be in a friend or families wedding is a great honor.  There are so many cute ways that future brides are asking their loved and closed friends to be in their wedding.  Below is a picture of how my sister got asked to be in one of her best friend's wedding.  

This extra and cute initiative will make any friend excited to join in on the special day.  The feeling of excitement and wanting to be there for their friend is a feeling I am sure a lot of newly asked bridesmaids may feel.  However, the feeling of being overwhelmed and stressed as to so much that has to be done may be a feeling possessed as well.  The bridal shower, the bachelorette party, the gifts, buying the shoes, visiting venues, keeping the bride from becoming stressed and more are just some of the tasks that will be asked from you as your duty of being a bridesmaid.  Therefore I only felt it was fitting to make our first official Blushing Bridesmaids (woo) blog be about the first key things to remember/do during your first weeks of being a bridesmaid.

1.) Remember this day isn't all about you.

Getting this frame of mind from the very beginning is a good way to start.  This is your friends day she has been dreaming of her whole entire life.  So, if she wants you to wear a purple and yellow taffeta dress (if Katherine Heigel can wear all 27 hideous dresses you can too) for who even knows what reason, suck it up and think in a couple of months the jokes you can make.  You may have a a future bride that is legitimately nuts, but remember to keep the perspective that she just wants everything to go perfectly.  Therefore, if you help her as much as you can the wedding will go as smooth as she dreamt about and you won't have nightmares about your friend being a bridezilla. 

2.) Meet with other bridesmaids and organize yourselves.

This is one of the best things you and the other bridesmaids can do.  Having a meeting so you all can be on the same page can really eliminate any future stress and/or tension that may arise down the road.  Make lists of who is going to be in charge of what.  Having 13 girls throw a bridal shower is never ideal.  The saying "too many cooks in the kitchen" wont even suffice to the amount of girl drama that can come from that.  Therefore, make little committees amongst the bridesmaids.  The two main things that the bridesmaids have to do is throw a bridal shower and bachelorette party.  After you have those two events planned, make sure a bridesmaid is with the bride every step of the way.  Decide on who is going to go to the cake tasting day, the final fittings, the floral appointments and everything in between. Organization is key to the process of being a bridesmaid, so if you start it at the very beginning I can guarantee happy bridesmaids and most importantly happy bridesmaids.   

3.) Think creativity not breaking your bank account.

It is no surprise that weddings cost an incredible amount of money, and I am not just talking about for the bride and groom.  Between buying all the gifts the bill really stacks up.  Now, throw in being a bridesmaid and add a couple more zeros.  However, this doesn't have to be the case.  You can be the best bridesmaid without going broke if you put in a little more effort and remember to be creative.  There are hundreds of ideas (which we will explore on our website) of gifts that are more meaningful than buying something really expensive.  Think about things in more of a "what would make this occasion more memorable" type of way instead of buying the typical china dishes or crock pot that will sit in the pantry for years.  If you start thinking early of creative gifts you will feel more proud of the gift you are giving also with out the feeling of guilt because your month's salary wasn't spent.

4.) Be open to communication, in fact be the key communicator.
Be a good communicator with information.  Many times information prior to weddings does not reach everyone.  Friends will appreciate confirming plans of each shower and party as well as wedding day information.  The bride has thousands of things to do and the last thing she needs to worry about is worrying that her bridesmaids don't know what to do or where to be.  Keep your ears extra open and your planners always at hand so you don't miss a thing. 

5.) If you don't think she needs help, help anyways.

Chances are your bride is going to have a break down, stress attack or cry throughout the wedding planning process, and when I say chances I actually mean it WILL happen.  She is going to say she can do everything, because as the bride you want to be a part of every step.  However, when reality sets in and it is 12 at night and the favors still aren't finished and the bride realizes she doesn't have 35 hands to finish them in time, this is where you NEED to come in.  Always offer to help even if she says she can do it all.  Make sure you tell her you are not trying to make her decisions you are just trying to be her extra hands when she needs them.

6.) Know your duties. Know your boundaries.

There are a lot of tasks you have to do throughout the wedding, but again it is vital to remember this is not your special day.  If you have advice, depending on your friend, by all means share it.  BUT do not cross the line of making your advice become decisions and they way things have to be done. If you start telling the bride all things are bad, you will make one upset friend.  Know what you have to do, without overstepping your bridesmaid duty.  If you haven't had a wedding yet, your time will come to make all these decisions, and if you have had a wedding already, you should most definitely know how you would feel if one of your bridesmaid went control crazy.

7.) Don't be the drama. 

Put this in your head right now ladies, heck tattoo it on your arm.  It is beyond important to remember to say no to the drama, save the drama for ya mamma, or to even quote the Black Eyed Peas "No-no drama no-no-no-no drama." Yes, I understand there is going to be a lot of females throughout this process and this can only mean a lot of emotions.  However, if you remember from the beginning to just avoid the drama you will stand next to the bride on her big day happy as can be knowing that there is not a stress in the world.  There are going to be times of course, where you are not going to agree with everyone, or there is going to be that one girl that just keeps getting under your skin.  Just remember that this day means so much to your dear friend, walk away and realize it is not worth it to start drama.  And if that doesn't work, check out our drama free bridesmaids tips we will soon be posting!

8.) Enjoy this time.

Even with all the above guidelines above, this time is exciting and momentous for you as the bridesmaid as well.  You weren't asked to be a part of the wedding just because, you were asked because you are obviously very close to the bride and mean a lot to her.  So, share in the excitement and love that your friend is embarking on.  Be excited, be enthusiastic and most importantly don't forget how lucky you are to have such a good friend in your life.  Even when I say this day isn't all about you, it is a day for you to have fun and be overwhelmed with the love around you.  

The wedding process, believe it or not does, go quickly, so if you remember these eight steps, and go into this process with an open and optimistic mind, I ensure you this will be a magical day and process for you. 

You WILL be a blushing bridesmaid.  

xo Lauren